ADHD parenting presents different challenges than raising kids who do not have this disorder. While you do not want to hold your child responsible for tasks beyond his means, you don’t want to enable him either or make him a victim of his disorder. In this article, you’ll learn five tips for disciplining kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
ADHD Parenting: 5 Top Discipline Tips
First, lets talk about the word “discipline.” The word comes from the Latin word “discipulus” which means “learner” or “to become a disciple of.” What this means is that you should always strive to teach values, rather than punish your child.
1. Understand what your child is capable of and what is beyond his current abilities. A basic understanding of child development can help, but also take the time to learn the areas in which your child seems to struggle most. Rather than punishing him for behaving in a way that he is currently unable to, avoid situations that you know will be a set up for inappropriate behavior. Teach him what you want him to do, rather than yelling at him for what he did wrong. This distinction is subtle, but important.
2. Parenting kids with ADHD requires firm and consistent discipline. When you take away a privilege, don’t give it back without having your child do something to earn it. Don’t let your child negotiate his way out punishments because then he will believe that everything is negotiable. If your child is chronically disrespectful or unusually defiant, then you will need to learn some new ADHD parenting skills that are also very effective with kids who have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. These are skills that your parents did not teach you. Don’t wait. Do it now. Defiant behavior does not get better on its own.
3. Focus on who your child is, rather than his performance. Children who start to feel like they are only valued for doing well on homework, tests, chores and in sports are much more likely to give up or feel bad about themselves when they fail to perform to expectations. Your child’s sense of self-worth should be tied to the fact that he is a whole human being, rather than how he does on a particular task. Although you may not always be able to give him an “attaboy,” you can give him encouragement and ask him what he learned from the experience.
4. Don’t try to be a friend, instead, take the high road and be the parent. Being a parent is tough. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions, set the limits, take away privileges or insist that your child do something that you know is in his best interests. Parents who shirk these responsibilities because they want their kids to like them, usually end up with teens who neither like nor respect them because they failed to do the tough work of being a parent.
5. Know when to say when. Some things just aren’t worth fighting over. Sometimes, it is better to let it go, especially if your child has had an unusually tough day and could just be acting out due to frustration or overwhelm. That said, there are no excuses for abusive behavior. Do not let the label of “ADHD child” be an excuse for mean-spirited behavior.
ADHD parenting is a challenge, but you are up to it. In addition to following the tips in this article, make sure to take some time out for yourself to unwind and rejuvenate every day, so you’ll be able to face the challenges that will inevitably come tomorrow.
Source Bebe Magico
